Blurry...

"Too much stress makes Homer go somethin'-somethin'."

"Go crazy?"

"Don't mind if I DO!!"

Erm. Yeah...

Everything is stress. I feel like a huge, raw, exposed nerve.

Just slept for the last 12 hours. I think the only time I don't hurt is when I'm unconscious. I've been thinking about that alot, lately. Or perhaps I should say "constantly". I don't want to be awake any more.

I had to forcibly hold myself together by sheer force of will to not break down while I was at work, yesterday. I might just be coming apart.

Had 1 date cancel on me. Another cancel, last-minute, and go the extra mile by saying "you're a good person, I just can't see myself with you". Bitch didn't even try. Bleh.

On the upside, I recently spent an evening with a woman who works at a health food store I frequent. I suppose I'll refer to her as "T". A pleasant, attractive woman, with a rich voice, beautiful smile, and she makes me feel kind of squishy inside. I guess that last part isn't too hard to accomplish. I probably reek of desperation.

Anyhoo. I bumped into her the other day, and we got to chatting. Chatting which lasted for about 3 hours, until she closed up shop. It didn't seem like that long.

She had had surgery, recently, and was having some problems making ends meet...at least until the end of the month. She hadn't even been able to eat that day. I bought her some supper, and lent her a few bucks. Pretty sure she wasn't fishing for sympathy, which is why I did it. I also did it because it feels good to make someone else's day better. And I got a hug for it. She smelled nice.

*sigh*

I've contemplated asking her out a few times. Not sure it's a good idea. I know she's single, and I know we get along, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Things are so blurry for me right now, I don't think it would be responsible to inadvertantly bring that upon someone else. Not even for my own happiness.

Now on to a different kind of "blurry", I also booked an appointment for a Lasik consultation for next week. I've gotten tired of dropping $450 every few years on glasses. Might as well see what's what about laser eye surgery. Also gotten tired of how easily-broken glasses seem to be. The glasses I'm wearing right now are barely 2 years old, and held together with Crazy Glue. I've been too stubborn to replace them. It seems like a better long-term solution to just get my eyes zapped. Even if I may have to resort to glasses later in life, I won't have to drop nearly as much as I do now for a unique prescription.

*waits for next Thursday*