Sweet dreams are made of these...

As general rule, I don't dream. And when I do, they're somewhat prophetic. Odd little snippets of the future that are hard to interpret, up until I catch up with the moments portrayed in my dream. It's one of many, many weird things about me.

Meh.

As a child, teen, and young adult, I remember dreaming frequently. I even used to have a recurring dream. It was an extremely vivid dream. The kind of dream that has every detail punched-up. Colors were extreme, as were sounds, voices, etc.. I suppose I'd go so far as to say that it was hyper-real. A real hi-def, better-than-Blu-ray experience.

The dream, itself, is a bit hard to describe. Waxing metaphorically, it felt like love. Which is, of course, what the dream was about. I dreamt of falling in love and being loved. Not the kind we see in movies, read about in magazines, or in romance novels. Definitely not the kind I've experienced in what passes for my life. If love could be purified, boiled-down, concentrated, laced with something potent, and multiplied by a factor of a million. That's what I felt in these dreams. The uber-cocaine of love.

I can still remember the golden hair, heart-shaped face, the blue eyes, and the cadence of her voice. I can even remember the touch of her fingertips. She was almost too beautiful to look at. Glowing bright, like staring at the sun.

I can also remember the soul-crushing sadness at waking up from these dreams. The dreams were so bright, the feelings so pure and positive, that when I awoke, I would feel as if my psyche was t-boned by a fully-loaded semi-truck doing 100 MPH. It was jarring. And not to be melodramatic, but I would literally break down and weep at the realization that it was only a dream. To wake up to the world I know, as opposed to the world I had, even as a dream. Whenever I hear the Cure's "Just Like Heaven" (one of my favorite songs), I think of these dreams.

I miss them.

I think at this point in my life, I don't so much sleep, as fall insensate from exhaustion. I think that after having those dreams for so long, on some level I just decided to stop having them. They were too...traumatizing. But with the current state of my life right now, I really would like to wrap myself up in one of those dreams again.