I've thought about posting something for the last week or so. I get moments of inspiration. Like seeing, or thinking something on the way to work. But alot of the time I just get so run-down over the course of the day that I put it off, and forget to post it.
A couple weird things happened, recently.
I've been researching some peculiar, and prolongued, symptoms I've been experiencing. Things like extreme fatigue, A weird recurring buildup on my tongue, chronic pain, problems concentrating, etc. I've got some kind of infection. My research has led me to some form of Candidiasis. I suspect that at some point after a bout with pneumonia approximately 2-or-so years ago, the antibiotics killed what was making me sick, but also stripped my body of all the good bacteria every human being needs to be healthy. And when this happened, other things came to roost, and my beleaguered immune system couldn't fight it off. I picked up some things that should help me regulate, and after taking them for a few days, I feel somewhat improved. Also stopped drinking energy drinks, replaced them with varying fruit juices. Been enjoying the acai berry blend.
Today, at work, I was sweeping up a mess I'd made, and accidentally knocked over the garbage can I was dumping it in to. Most normal people, would say things like "shit!", or "dammit!". I wanted to say those things, but what came out of my mouth was "Blargle-blargle!". Imagine yelling that out, when it was totally not what you were intending to say. I felt like I'd suddenly been dubbed in an alien language.
I gots me a spiffy new bottle of cologne, called Dunhill Desire. I've been having a hard time finding it here. When I do, I'm usually too strapped for cash to get it. But now, I have a very large bottle, and it smells just like I remember it. Just the scent practically makes me orgasm...
...Which is probably not a good thing to mention. A too-much-information kind of thing.
Tough, I said it.
It smells so close to cotton candy. I have to resist spraying it on everything I own.
Now if I weren't STILL having such terrible luck with women, I'd expect that smelling this stuff might actually attract one. But as usual, my wooing skills are insufficient. I'm yet again considering swearing off women. Which isn't really the right way of putting it. It's so bad that I think it's more like women have sworn off me.
Bleh.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Now with more SMRT!
Been away for awhile. Been busy. Between failed connections with women, work, work, and more work, and then studying (more on that later), much of my time has been so gobbled up, I've forgone downloading porn and gaming online. Seriously, no porn, no gaming. For me, someone who normally squeezes in even a few minutes here 'n there, it's like Moses parting the red sea. A biblical event. Maybe I should apply for sainthood.
Ummm. Probably not.
For the last month-or-so, things have become kind of hectic. My old supervisor, a great guy, and a greater boss, was transferred. This event was both a blessing for him, and a curse for those of us left behind. I am glad for him, though, The manager at my location rode his ass like a pony for a year, trying to get him to quit, and couldn't do it. So my hat's off to you, ex-supervisor homie!
A new, more incapable, lazy, useless, fat, stupid...erm...did I mention fat and stupid? And lazy? I suppose I digress. In any case, she is everything that my old supervisor isn't, and never could be. At least not without alot of invasive cosmetic surgery that would turn him into a fat, lazy, woman with arm-jowls, and a penchant for tremendous bursts of irrational, illogical thought. Now I realize this might make me sound like a woman-hater. I'd like to interject that I am not. I just don't get along with fat, lazy, inept people...who, in this case, just so happens to be a woman.
Anyhoo. Where he worked damn hard, helped out, made our lives easier, was a sympathetic human being, and inspired us, etc.. The new one is like the Bizarro-version of him. Where he would see a need for something done, and saw noone capable of doing it, he would jump in and do it himself. Not so, with Chubby McArm-jowls. She'll leave you hangin', while she delegates stuff that's supposed to be her job, and then disappears for 4 hours, upstairs in the office. Presumably to eat small children who have been slow-roasted over low-heat to preserve their juices.
And then there's the irrational, and illogical things she's doing, and gets away with.
My ex-boss, the aforementioned pony, had X amount of hours he could distribute amongst staff. He had to answer for any amount of shrink our department produced, answer for the lack of product produced, and answer for a cornucopia of other things involving the department's day-to-day activity. All of which had him under the threat of being fired. Mind you, not alot of this was justified, as rumor (and the fact the manager is a serious bastard) suggests that the store manager was simply looking for excuses to fire him. In a battle between a guy with over 20 years of experience in a given field, versus a manager with a lifetime experience of nothing else but being one of the purest asshole-douchebag hybrids I've ever seen...well, I'd side with the guy who has field-experience. Apparently that defies logic somehow. Chubby McArm-jowls apparently has free reign to do whatever she likes, with no fear of repercussion. All restrictions my old boss had, she doesn't. And it doesn't take more than a glance to tell she's nowhere near as competent as he was. This past week alone, she ordered waaay too much stock. Everyone told her she ordered too much stock. And this week, when all that stock sat around in the back room, and expired...thousands of dollars of product was wasted. And boy does it puzzle the shit out of me how a person gets away with that scot-free.
Just thinking about all that makes red stuff come out of my nose and ears. Ketchup? Hrm, tastes salty...
I suppose I'll just touch on a few other recent events, while I await medical attention:
-Been working like a dog. Work is Hell. And I've been contemplating quitting in a very serious fashion.
-Met a few women. Got either horribly rejected, neglected, or shown that they were crazy bitches.
-The need for better work caused me to finally get up off my ass and cram for my GED.
-Wrote the GED. Passed the GED. I am now SMRT! Now the job-hunting shall begin.
-I just got woken up by a peculiar dream. In my dream, I was sleeping, and something was entering my room, which woke me up. I couldn't see what it was and threw something at it to make it leave. I then snapped awake. The dream was so real, it took me a minute to realize I wasn't sleeping.
-I think my refrigerator just stopped working. SHIT!
Ummm. Probably not.
For the last month-or-so, things have become kind of hectic. My old supervisor, a great guy, and a greater boss, was transferred. This event was both a blessing for him, and a curse for those of us left behind. I am glad for him, though, The manager at my location rode his ass like a pony for a year, trying to get him to quit, and couldn't do it. So my hat's off to you, ex-supervisor homie!
A new, more incapable, lazy, useless, fat, stupid...erm...did I mention fat and stupid? And lazy? I suppose I digress. In any case, she is everything that my old supervisor isn't, and never could be. At least not without alot of invasive cosmetic surgery that would turn him into a fat, lazy, woman with arm-jowls, and a penchant for tremendous bursts of irrational, illogical thought. Now I realize this might make me sound like a woman-hater. I'd like to interject that I am not. I just don't get along with fat, lazy, inept people...who, in this case, just so happens to be a woman.
Anyhoo. Where he worked damn hard, helped out, made our lives easier, was a sympathetic human being, and inspired us, etc.. The new one is like the Bizarro-version of him. Where he would see a need for something done, and saw noone capable of doing it, he would jump in and do it himself. Not so, with Chubby McArm-jowls. She'll leave you hangin', while she delegates stuff that's supposed to be her job, and then disappears for 4 hours, upstairs in the office. Presumably to eat small children who have been slow-roasted over low-heat to preserve their juices.
And then there's the irrational, and illogical things she's doing, and gets away with.
My ex-boss, the aforementioned pony, had X amount of hours he could distribute amongst staff. He had to answer for any amount of shrink our department produced, answer for the lack of product produced, and answer for a cornucopia of other things involving the department's day-to-day activity. All of which had him under the threat of being fired. Mind you, not alot of this was justified, as rumor (and the fact the manager is a serious bastard) suggests that the store manager was simply looking for excuses to fire him. In a battle between a guy with over 20 years of experience in a given field, versus a manager with a lifetime experience of nothing else but being one of the purest asshole-douchebag hybrids I've ever seen...well, I'd side with the guy who has field-experience. Apparently that defies logic somehow. Chubby McArm-jowls apparently has free reign to do whatever she likes, with no fear of repercussion. All restrictions my old boss had, she doesn't. And it doesn't take more than a glance to tell she's nowhere near as competent as he was. This past week alone, she ordered waaay too much stock. Everyone told her she ordered too much stock. And this week, when all that stock sat around in the back room, and expired...thousands of dollars of product was wasted. And boy does it puzzle the shit out of me how a person gets away with that scot-free.
Just thinking about all that makes red stuff come out of my nose and ears. Ketchup? Hrm, tastes salty...
I suppose I'll just touch on a few other recent events, while I await medical attention:
-Been working like a dog. Work is Hell. And I've been contemplating quitting in a very serious fashion.
-Met a few women. Got either horribly rejected, neglected, or shown that they were crazy bitches.
-The need for better work caused me to finally get up off my ass and cram for my GED.
-Wrote the GED. Passed the GED. I am now SMRT! Now the job-hunting shall begin.
-I just got woken up by a peculiar dream. In my dream, I was sleeping, and something was entering my room, which woke me up. I couldn't see what it was and threw something at it to make it leave. I then snapped awake. The dream was so real, it took me a minute to realize I wasn't sleeping.
-I think my refrigerator just stopped working. SHIT!
Friday, March 26, 2010
Oops...pornography!
Being painfully single, and living with 3 roomies has its challenges.
For example, having been alone as much as I have, I'm used to...erm..."snapping one off" whenever I feel like it. Same goes for watching porn. Now me, being a very private person, I'm very hush-hush about porn. I don't talk about it much, express much external interest in it (though I have some), I'd even go so far as to say I'm kind of in the closet concerning porn. Not sure why. It might have something to do with previous relationships where porn became something of a communal scenario. And the experience(s) couldn't be described as "fun". Unless you live in a bizarro world where up-is-down, in-is-out, good-is-evil, and "fun" is actually like getting your bits 'n pieces caught in a belt-sander.
While in relationships, the porn-viewing became more of a Ebert & Roeper (or perhaps even a Waldorf & Statler)-type affair. Nothing kills eroticism (what little there may be to had, depending on the porn being viewed) like critiquing/heckling. But I digress...
The point I was attempting to make (and stopped to ramble, during) was that for me, there has been some adjustment in having roomies. I no longer watch, or download as much porn as I used to. The frequency in which I masturbate, has also declined. Even with my door closed to my room, I simply cannot trust that a roomie won't come a-bangin' at my door, for some retarded reason or another. I've acquired masturbatory paranoia.
Which reminds me (again, with the rambling!) of what I was going to post in the first place. I needed to talk to a roomie, earlier this week. So I went down the hall, to their room, and knocked on the door. "Yo!", responded my roomie. Now to me, a hearty "Yo!" means "Come on in!". Let's just say I caught him on his laptop, with his knickers down, watching some hot black-on-white, interracial action.
Oops.
I admit that we both really handled the situation like champs. He simply stopped what he was doing, looked up, and said: "Dude, I'm watching some porn". To which I replied: "Hrm, sorry", and I promptly closed the door.
For example, having been alone as much as I have, I'm used to...erm..."snapping one off" whenever I feel like it. Same goes for watching porn. Now me, being a very private person, I'm very hush-hush about porn. I don't talk about it much, express much external interest in it (though I have some), I'd even go so far as to say I'm kind of in the closet concerning porn. Not sure why. It might have something to do with previous relationships where porn became something of a communal scenario. And the experience(s) couldn't be described as "fun". Unless you live in a bizarro world where up-is-down, in-is-out, good-is-evil, and "fun" is actually like getting your bits 'n pieces caught in a belt-sander.
While in relationships, the porn-viewing became more of a Ebert & Roeper (or perhaps even a Waldorf & Statler)-type affair. Nothing kills eroticism (what little there may be to had, depending on the porn being viewed) like critiquing/heckling. But I digress...
The point I was attempting to make (and stopped to ramble, during) was that for me, there has been some adjustment in having roomies. I no longer watch, or download as much porn as I used to. The frequency in which I masturbate, has also declined. Even with my door closed to my room, I simply cannot trust that a roomie won't come a-bangin' at my door, for some retarded reason or another. I've acquired masturbatory paranoia.
Which reminds me (again, with the rambling!) of what I was going to post in the first place. I needed to talk to a roomie, earlier this week. So I went down the hall, to their room, and knocked on the door. "Yo!", responded my roomie. Now to me, a hearty "Yo!" means "Come on in!". Let's just say I caught him on his laptop, with his knickers down, watching some hot black-on-white, interracial action.
Oops.
I admit that we both really handled the situation like champs. He simply stopped what he was doing, looked up, and said: "Dude, I'm watching some porn". To which I replied: "Hrm, sorry", and I promptly closed the door.
Monday, March 15, 2010
...Not as single spies, but in battalions
Argh. I've heard good things come in threes, but I've recently experienced that the opposite is also true.
About 3 weeks-or-so ago, 3 extremely unpleasant things happened.
#1. The motherboard on my 'puter got cooked. Not sure how, but I suspect via a power surge that overwhelmed my surge-protector. Me without 'puter, makes Homer go something-something.
So, silly me decided to upgrade. I got a new processor, motherboard, RAM, and a new power supply. I got a friend to help me put it all together ('cause I wasn't sure I could). And it didn't work. I then spent a week trying to figure out what was wrong. I finally caved and took it in, and it turns out that the new, swanky RAM I got was not compatible with the motherboard. Or more accurately, the RAM should've been compatible, was on paper, but was in fact, not. I had to settle for stable, but less powerful RAM. 'Puter is good now.
#2. Around that same time my 'puter went poof, my MSN/Hotmail e-mail account, my POF account, and a few of my gaming accounts got hacked. I suspect it was Mary (my most recent ex, who might've known my passwords).
Thankfully, I've sorted out everything but the e-mail problems. Microsoft is staggeringly unhelpful in that regard. I've gotten 3 e-mails from them asking for the exact same shit I've already sent to confirm that it was my e-mail and account to begin with. So I just made a whole new e-mail.
#3. Also during the above stuff, I acquired some kind of massive eye infection. I missed 6-or-so shifts at work (totalling around $600 lost), because it was thought to be conjunctivitis. Health and safety states that in the food industry, one cannot work while sick with something extremely contagious. So I missed a bunch of work. I also spent 3 days straight with my head jammed under a pillow, lights out, ready to scream. The faintest of light caused intense, intense, INTENSE pain. Saying it 3 times should indicate just how intense that pain was.
*quits whinin'*
About 3 weeks-or-so ago, 3 extremely unpleasant things happened.
#1. The motherboard on my 'puter got cooked. Not sure how, but I suspect via a power surge that overwhelmed my surge-protector. Me without 'puter, makes Homer go something-something.
So, silly me decided to upgrade. I got a new processor, motherboard, RAM, and a new power supply. I got a friend to help me put it all together ('cause I wasn't sure I could). And it didn't work. I then spent a week trying to figure out what was wrong. I finally caved and took it in, and it turns out that the new, swanky RAM I got was not compatible with the motherboard. Or more accurately, the RAM should've been compatible, was on paper, but was in fact, not. I had to settle for stable, but less powerful RAM. 'Puter is good now.
#2. Around that same time my 'puter went poof, my MSN/Hotmail e-mail account, my POF account, and a few of my gaming accounts got hacked. I suspect it was Mary (my most recent ex, who might've known my passwords).
Thankfully, I've sorted out everything but the e-mail problems. Microsoft is staggeringly unhelpful in that regard. I've gotten 3 e-mails from them asking for the exact same shit I've already sent to confirm that it was my e-mail and account to begin with. So I just made a whole new e-mail.
#3. Also during the above stuff, I acquired some kind of massive eye infection. I missed 6-or-so shifts at work (totalling around $600 lost), because it was thought to be conjunctivitis. Health and safety states that in the food industry, one cannot work while sick with something extremely contagious. So I missed a bunch of work. I also spent 3 days straight with my head jammed under a pillow, lights out, ready to scream. The faintest of light caused intense, intense, INTENSE pain. Saying it 3 times should indicate just how intense that pain was.
*quits whinin'*
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Everything's comin' up Milhouse!
It's been awhile, but I had some time to kill so I thought I'd take a few minutes to add another entry.
Things are lookin' good (finally!). I'm finally over my sniffles, got moved to the new place, have gotten adjusted to having roomies, been going out with a woman that seems to enjoy my company (though I wouldn't say we're dating). I also got paid, got my holiday pay, and got 2/3rds of my damage deposit back from my old apartment.
So, long-story-short everything's comin' up Milhouse!
Going to grab a small 'fridge for my room this week. Unfortunately, it means I need to get off my ass and finish unpacking the junk in my room.
Booo!
But "boo" in a good way.
I need to savor these moments and appreciate them more, they're very few and far-between.
Things are lookin' good (finally!). I'm finally over my sniffles, got moved to the new place, have gotten adjusted to having roomies, been going out with a woman that seems to enjoy my company (though I wouldn't say we're dating). I also got paid, got my holiday pay, and got 2/3rds of my damage deposit back from my old apartment.
So, long-story-short everything's comin' up Milhouse!
Going to grab a small 'fridge for my room this week. Unfortunately, it means I need to get off my ass and finish unpacking the junk in my room.
Booo!
But "boo" in a good way.
I need to savor these moments and appreciate them more, they're very few and far-between.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sniffles 'n shit...
Been sick the last few days. I only seem to catch horrible sinus or respiratory infections. I'm not sure what mine is yet, but it's not fun. I'd rather be stuck in a bathroom barfing every few minutes, than have my sinuses leak so bad that my face is raw from blowing my nose. I'm using aloe to try and minimize the rawness. But the need to blow makes it a losing battle.
To make matters worse, I'm in the middle of moving and cleaning my old apartment, which I have to vacate by this upcoming Thursday. And I've been doing all the moving and cleaning by myself, while sick, and while working. I'd like to just be able to sit at home and convalesce, and get better, but I can't. And that is the cherry on top of this particular shit sundae.
*sigh*
With most of my stuff here at the new place, I already miss the quiet solitude of the old one. I miss the privacy. I don't feel like I can do what I want, when I want. I have this vibe that this whole arrangement is not going to go well. And my being sick is not exactly helping my morale.
I hope I feel better tomorrow. I really need to get shit done.
To make matters worse, I'm in the middle of moving and cleaning my old apartment, which I have to vacate by this upcoming Thursday. And I've been doing all the moving and cleaning by myself, while sick, and while working. I'd like to just be able to sit at home and convalesce, and get better, but I can't. And that is the cherry on top of this particular shit sundae.
*sigh*
With most of my stuff here at the new place, I already miss the quiet solitude of the old one. I miss the privacy. I don't feel like I can do what I want, when I want. I have this vibe that this whole arrangement is not going to go well. And my being sick is not exactly helping my morale.
I hope I feel better tomorrow. I really need to get shit done.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Dazed and Confused
I'm tired and I can't sleep. It could have something to do with the fact that I'm pissed right off.
I've learned a harsh lesson. I've been courting a few women online, off the Plenty of Fish website (and again, I'm not linking it).
Yes, I caved. Yes, I feel kind of ashamed about it. I'm lonely, sue me.
The lesson is based on a certain realization I had concerning the "rules of engagement" while attempting to connect online. The new rule was to "move fast, strike hard, close the deal". That is to say chat quick, be concise, go out. Why? Because whenever you chat online (or phone, or even in person) for a prolongued period of time with a woman, the more protracted the courting is, the greater the chance that things will go wrong. Either you, or she, will say something or do something wrong. Emotions become involved, attachments formed, and then when something finally does go wrong, people get hurt. Like myself, for instance. I've broken the rule on a few occasions recently. And here are the results.
Both this Wednesday, and Saturday, I had a tentative plan (mutually-agreed) to go out with a particular woman. Said woman hasn't contacted me since Tuesday. Never followed up on said plans, and has been unresponsive to the single e-mail I sent her. Maybe there's been a personal emergency, maybe not. But how hard is it to shoot someone an e-mail? I should also mention, she has my phone number, too. So I'm left frustrated and hurt, and with no sense of closure. I have no idea what the Hell happened.
Woman #2, a great woman to chat with. I've been chatting with her slightly longer than the other. All told, about 2 weeks or so. But when I prodded about meeting, and going out, nothing came of it. She, too has been incommunicado for the last 3-4 days. For someone who genuinely seemed to like me, the avoidance is irritating. I know people get busy, but like Woman #1, I ask a similar question: "how hard is it to fire off an e-mail?". Sheesh. She knows I'm interested in her, she knows I want to meet her. I feel kind of stuck in this limbo, where I just don't know where I stand with her. She has the power and the clarity or my position, while I've got Jack Shit concerning hers. I just realized how wishy-washy that stance is. I would've been better off not having spoken to her in the first place.
Because of emotional investment nursed along by women who extended the courting process, I'm left angry, frustrated and hurt. I can accept some of the blame, as I foolishly let myself develop an attachment. Actually, it's not "attachment", it's "expectation". I expected them to value me the same way I valued them. And that scenario never turns out well for me. Ever.
If things went quickly, we chatted, made arrangements to meet, and got it over with (for good or bad), I would least have my peace of mind.
Unlike now.
*sigh*
I've learned a harsh lesson. I've been courting a few women online, off the Plenty of Fish website (and again, I'm not linking it).
Yes, I caved. Yes, I feel kind of ashamed about it. I'm lonely, sue me.
The lesson is based on a certain realization I had concerning the "rules of engagement" while attempting to connect online. The new rule was to "move fast, strike hard, close the deal". That is to say chat quick, be concise, go out. Why? Because whenever you chat online (or phone, or even in person) for a prolongued period of time with a woman, the more protracted the courting is, the greater the chance that things will go wrong. Either you, or she, will say something or do something wrong. Emotions become involved, attachments formed, and then when something finally does go wrong, people get hurt. Like myself, for instance. I've broken the rule on a few occasions recently. And here are the results.
Both this Wednesday, and Saturday, I had a tentative plan (mutually-agreed) to go out with a particular woman. Said woman hasn't contacted me since Tuesday. Never followed up on said plans, and has been unresponsive to the single e-mail I sent her. Maybe there's been a personal emergency, maybe not. But how hard is it to shoot someone an e-mail? I should also mention, she has my phone number, too. So I'm left frustrated and hurt, and with no sense of closure. I have no idea what the Hell happened.
Woman #2, a great woman to chat with. I've been chatting with her slightly longer than the other. All told, about 2 weeks or so. But when I prodded about meeting, and going out, nothing came of it. She, too has been incommunicado for the last 3-4 days. For someone who genuinely seemed to like me, the avoidance is irritating. I know people get busy, but like Woman #1, I ask a similar question: "how hard is it to fire off an e-mail?". Sheesh. She knows I'm interested in her, she knows I want to meet her. I feel kind of stuck in this limbo, where I just don't know where I stand with her. She has the power and the clarity or my position, while I've got Jack Shit concerning hers. I just realized how wishy-washy that stance is. I would've been better off not having spoken to her in the first place.
Because of emotional investment nursed along by women who extended the courting process, I'm left angry, frustrated and hurt. I can accept some of the blame, as I foolishly let myself develop an attachment. Actually, it's not "attachment", it's "expectation". I expected them to value me the same way I valued them. And that scenario never turns out well for me. Ever.
If things went quickly, we chatted, made arrangements to meet, and got it over with (for good or bad), I would least have my peace of mind.
Unlike now.
*sigh*
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