Second verse, same as the first...

I've been contemplating what I should post for a few days now.

I was going to do the typical thing and do a New Years post, as many bloggers often do. And as New Year's approached, I felt little urge to post anything at all. I had an idea, and it sort of slipped away on me.

It made me think what's there to post?

What's the saying? "If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all"?

And I found myself with nothing good to say. Major buzzkill, I know.

Maybe it's the absence of Andromeda. Maybe it's the overall lack of direction I constantly feel. Maybe even the Winter blahs. I just don't understand what there is to celebrate. Yippee, it's another new year.

Another year has come and gone. Much like the previous year, and the year before that. It all just feels...interminable. And I'm not really sure what I can possibly do about it.

There just seems no satisfaction in anything. No challenge. Nothing really worth fighting for. In fact, that's exactly how I feel...I feel like a knight without a cause. A soldier without a proper war. Completely lost in a world I can't relate to.

And with all likelyhood, this new year will probably pan out exactly like the last.

I'll blink and miss it. And wonder what the Hell just happened.

I really need to change this pattern. I can't keep distracting myself from all the problems I have. Can't keep playing the shell game against my own psyche.

Now....go!

Trivial Pursuit(s)

Grrr. I bought Call of Duty: Black Ops the other day, and have enjoyed playing the single-player part of it.

Maybe I should place that "Grrr" somewhere else, 'cause that's not the grrr-worthy part.

The single-player is great. The game looks good, runs and looks great, and has a well-told story with actual actors lending their voices to it. The grrr-ing part comes in with the multiplayer.

I can't play it.

I'm not sure WHY I can't play it, but every time I try, I crash into the blue screen of death.

I'm running a fresh install of Windows 7 Ultimate, have all the updates, updated drivers, and for whatever reason, I play for a few minutes, then crash out. I then spent several hours looking for fixes to the problem (none of which apply to me), and resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably have to wait until the bozos that made the game, patch it so that it works.

Not wanting to pitch my basically new 'puter out the 22nd-floor window, I've been entertaining myself by just surfing blogs.

And came upon this one.

You Will Not Believe

Seriously. Star Wars yoga. I can't be in a bad mood after seeing that.
<:P

Things that make you go "SPLOINK!"

Wow, has it really been over a month since my last entry?

Yikes. I'm slipping in my old age.

I have been busy though.

Busyness checklist:

#1: Spending time with Andromeda. Things are going well, 'nuff said. Though Andromeda is heading out to Africa on the 20th.

#2: Up until recently, working lots. Hours have been cut, but for the moment, that's okay.

#3: Nursing my MMO-addiction. I'm STILL enjoying my Star Trek Online and Age of Conan. I would like to make a note that I joke by saying I have an "MMO addiction". I'm not playing them so much that I forget to sleep, eat, shower, or do other things. I'm still haunted by the stories of Chinese and Korean parents neglecting their infant-aged children, and having them die while they go play World of Warcraft at the local internet cafe down the street.

*shudders*

#4: Getting ready for Christmas. I HATE Christmas, and when I have my way, I don't celebrate it. But being as I've almost always been around family, or room-mates, I seem to always get hornswoggled into it. This year, I decided that if I'm going to participate, I'm going to go a bit overboard. And I did so by spending at least $100 on everyone. The irony being that I was flush with money during the shopping, then my hours at work got cut a week later. Go figure.

*closes checklist*

My lightsaber is almost done, I've seen some swanky pictures of it in its semi-finished glory. 'Saberlicious!

I've also had some peculiar thoughts, lately.

The other day I was listening to some Duran Duran on my iPod. Inspiration struck me for a new superhero. "The Reflex"!! Maybe when DC Universe Online comes out, I'll make him. A dual gun-wielding, corporate-sponsored, reality-show hero, with superhuman reflexes that change how he perceives time. I had to explain myself at work, the other day, as to why I was going: "na-na-na-na...na-na-na-na" to myself.

Hint: I was thinking about the song, and my superhero.

I've also contemplated an idea for an ultra-violent video game spoof called "Hater". It would be about ordinary people (a different one for each level), who encounter something they hate. It would tap into the kinds of things that most people find to be extreme annoyances, like telemarketers, or Jehovah's Witnesses canvassing your neighborhood. Maybe even those annoying people with the giant trucks with the dingle-balls attached to the trailer hitch (could be a driving level).

When encountering these things, the characters morph from mainstream reality, into their own personal reality, where they're constantly attacked by wave-after-wave of whatever particular annoying thing that irritates them. And the boss of the level would be an even bigger, badder version of it.

Within this fantasy world, they can creatively use practically anything as weapons. Guns (with no reloading), but other things like weed-whackers, lawn-mowers, or other unusual items could be used to dispatch enemies. "Ridiculosity" would be the theme, and while gory, the violence would also be cartoony.

Andromeda threw her 2 cents in by asking: "what would happen when you just keep shooting an enemy until they're hamburger?"

I figured that maybe the game could go the extra mile and you could scoop up the hamburger, make spaghetti sauce, eat spaghetti, and then watch the X-ray view of it going through your system, continuing to torture the annoying enemies' soul until you poop it out. Could be a mini-game there...

Hrm. It kind of reminds me of that Robot Chicken skit involving trying to kill a werewolf...and NOT using silver.

Addendummy (yes, I'm punning)

MMMmm, pun-licious.

In my last post, I mentioned that Andromeda and I had broken up. Things have progressed since then.

After a number of discussions, with both my friends, and her. I decided to give her the 2nd chance she asked for...much to my friends' chagrin. They raised good points, but at the end of the day I felt that I needed to be true to myself (I'm an above-averagely good person), and give her the shot at redemption, even if it causes me problems later.

In any case, for the moment, things are on the way to being patched up. We might go see the movie Megamind on Thursday.

I've been in a Star Warsy mood these last few weeks. Partially from playing Star Wars: the Force Unleashed II, which has led to watching the classic trilogy, the lame prequel trilogy, and generally reading alot of stuff online about Star Wars.

Being a bit of a geek, I have a penchant for taking things that interest me, and find ways of connecting with them. When I was young, I built models, played with licenced toys, etc. And off-and-on, I've considered taking that to the next level. I've contemplated building things like custom replicas. Blasters, lightsabers, starship models...that sort of thing.

I just recently found out that there's a man here, in my city, that does extremely elaborate, functional custom lightsaber work. And for this last week, I've been working on a design with him. The lightsaber he puts together for me with rumble, hum, respond to movement (swinging, striking), activate/de-activate, and will have deflection, clashing, and a bunch of other randomly generated sounds. Oh, and of course, it will light up, and flash-on-clash.

I think, though, given the price quote he gave me ($865, including blade and recharger), I might try and build my own the next time around. I've been looking at the individual bits and bobs, and if I knew a bit about electronics, I could probably build my own for half that.

But we'll see...

A funny thing happened on the way to the party...

Women sure are funny creatures.

Andromeda broke up with me last night.

Oddly enough, not because of anything I do, or don't do...but because her friends don't like me. It's not a big deal, as I don't like her friends. But I've made it a point to be pleasant to be around. I'm not rude, or judgmental. But I'm not there to impress them, I'm there to impress her. That's how I roll.

She claimed, later on in an apologetic e-mail the morning after (this morning), that she was afraid of rejection. That she was frightened of how powerful her feelings were for me. And that self-doubt, combined with her friends' judgments on how she could "do better" than me, made her decide to shank me from behind, like a ninja.

I've done everything one could possibly do. I treated the girl like platinum-encrusted diamonds. But apparently that's not enough.

But here's the kicker. She didn't show any sign of there being a problem. I'm pretty keen on noticing when things are out of place. On top of that, she chose to break up with me by coming over, dressed to the 9's, on the night we were supposed to go out (I was in the process of getting ready)...then went out.

Without me.

Seems like a weird thing to do. But I guess she felt it needed the personal touch.

Now I'm pretty even-tempered, I don't rage, or cry, when things don't go my way. I'm angry, and hurt, but not so much that I've taken leave of my senses. Something does seem odd about this, though.

Something about the timing of it bothers me. It's like her friends told her to drop me like a hot potato, then probably suggested that if she went out with them, they'd party their faces off, and she'd then have all sorts of hot bodies to chase after her at the bar.

At least that's how it plays out in my head.

In any case, she apologized, and asked for a 2nd chance. I've been mulling it over, and to be honest, I don't see how she has any way of coming back from this. If she's so wishy-washy that she's taking her friends' opinions over her own...

Meh.

Time warp(ed)

Wow, I haven't posted since August. Funny thing is, it doesn't seem like such a long time. As usual, I've been busy. Work, dating, work, dating. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I have met someone whom I will call "Andromeda". I've been seeing her regularly for the last 2 months. So far, haven't seen any signs of her being crazy/psychotic (usually it takes a few weeks for those good at hiding it to start to show signs). She also has a very diverse array of skills: being a trained chef, seamstress, and interior decorator, just to name a few. It does make me contemplate my own skills, of which I have none. And I'm not going to count my uncanny ability to not sleep. I enjoy my time with her, and the feeling seems mutual, as I've met her family and pets. At least half of my week is spent with her in some way.

Beyond that, I've been nursing my MMO addiction (Age of Conan), as well as my Rock Band addiction, which has flared up (not unlike hemorrhoids, but much more enjoyable) with the advent of Rock Band 3.

So yeah...for all 1 of you who read this blog, I'm putting up this post to establish that I'm not dead...yet.

20-something...

Been healing from my eye surgery, still getting used to the new field of vision and hi-def quality to my vision, which is now better than 20/20.

Unless, it's first thing in the morning.

I've noticed that first thing in the morning, my eyes rebel, and my vision is a little off. I was given a cornucopia of drops to put in my eyes (which I do, as I was instructed). Apparently, it's due to not enough moisture in my eyes, a temporary side-effect of the procedures done.

I've also noticed that I might very well need reading glasses. While I can count the nose-hairs on a person at 50 yards, I have a hard time clearly seeing things a few inches from my nose. But I'm still healing, so when I go back for my follow-up, I'll ask about it if it's still a problem.

I'm still occasionally dating, with the usual run of luck. I've noticed alot of women like to cancel dates at the last minute. I'd get mad, but to be honest, I'm pretty desensitized to it by now. I look at it as being their loss, not mine.

But it doesn't mean I don't momentarily contemplate fucking them repeatedly with a broken bottle.

I did go on a semi-weird date to the local Garneau theater. It's the type of theater that shows "artistic films". I suffered through a subtitled, foreign film called "I Am Love", with actress Tilda Swinton.

The film was shot well, had good performances, and a lovely orchestral soundtrack in spots. But ultimately, I found the film to be a kind of pointless watch. I found it hard to believe any self-respecting woman (and mother) would stoop to having an affair with their son's best friend. That, and the heavy-handed sex scenes which practically beat you over the head with sexual-imagery metaphors intercut between shots of asses and tits. If anything, I was more entertained by the obvious lesbian couple in the audience, who started the movie sitting side-by-side in the front row, only to inch further, and further apart as the film progressed. By the end, they were several seats apart.

I wonder if one of them made a faux-pas comment during the film...

There are some major forest fires smoldering in the neighboring province of British Columbia. The smoke from said fires has been blowing over here, giving Edmonton a smog so thick, that yesterday, I couldn't see anything out my apartment windows. Even today, there's a heavy haze, and the air has a mesquite BBQ-like tinge.

With all this smoke hanging in the air, I wonder how all the smokers in this town have been handling it. Do they still slink out on smoke breaks to light up? Or do they step outside and just huff the air?