Not moody anymore. I'm feeling kind of peculiar, though. I'v been going through my music and re-listening to older stuff. Found this little gem from a few years ago. For some reason it appeals to my sense of whimsy.
\:)
Universal Hall Pass - Dragonfly
Jump in, it's only fire.
The pilot's set to broil, my nimble cook.
It's useless, flying kites...
It only works if the wind is right.
And I've got a question for my dragonfly:
How to navigate through a perilous tide,
Without a safe or sound device...
Save only I?
Save, save only I?
So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.
Jump in, the wisdom's with the pearls.
The little shiny eyes the oysters took.
Deception, dragonfly.
The underage plan to drink the night.
It's not some wonderful feeling like something just in the way.
Call up the 30 winds 'til your Persian rug flies.
Without a sage for sound advice...
Who's there?
Save only I?
Save, save only I?
So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.
Oh, I'm willing...my dragonfly.
No need to slice the dark, it's just as good...I've found.
So jump in while the flame is bright.
And if you jump when the wind is right.
Think of this not as fire, but lights of coming dawn...
Coming dawn...
Coming dawn...
Fall up into the wind, if she offers a ride.
With no one else to turn the tide...
Save only I?
Save, save only I?
So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.
So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Crash and burn...
I'm feeling moody, and for some reason this particular song resonates with me right now.
Sheryl Crow - Crash and Burn
I watched the sun come up on Portland
I waved goodbye to all my friends
I packed my car and headed to L.A.
I gave away all my loose ends
Somebody said you gotta get away
To wanna go back home again
I left my universe, standin' there
Holdin' the hand of my best friend
And it's laughter that I feel when I think of you
It's one more dusty rose about to turn
I'll see you when I reach New Mexico
If I'm in the mood to crash and burn
I wrote a letter that I never mailed
I rehearsed a dialogue in my head
In case you ever wanted to track me down
I'll take my cell phone to bed
And it's laughter that I hear when I close my eyes
And it's one more punchline I forgot to learn
I call you up when my bottle's dry
I'm on my way to crash and burn
Antigone laid across the road
And let a mack truck leave her there for dead
Just because her lover split the scene
Love might be great, but why lose your head?
Well, it's laughter that comes up when I cry for you
And my heart may break again, before it learns
And I might be stupid enough to want to fall again
'Cause I've gotten used to the crash and burn
I say, I've gotten used to the crash and burn
Crash and burn
Crash
Crash
Crash
Crash and burn
Sheryl Crow - Crash and Burn
I watched the sun come up on Portland
I waved goodbye to all my friends
I packed my car and headed to L.A.
I gave away all my loose ends
Somebody said you gotta get away
To wanna go back home again
I left my universe, standin' there
Holdin' the hand of my best friend
And it's laughter that I feel when I think of you
It's one more dusty rose about to turn
I'll see you when I reach New Mexico
If I'm in the mood to crash and burn
I wrote a letter that I never mailed
I rehearsed a dialogue in my head
In case you ever wanted to track me down
I'll take my cell phone to bed
And it's laughter that I hear when I close my eyes
And it's one more punchline I forgot to learn
I call you up when my bottle's dry
I'm on my way to crash and burn
Antigone laid across the road
And let a mack truck leave her there for dead
Just because her lover split the scene
Love might be great, but why lose your head?
Well, it's laughter that comes up when I cry for you
And my heart may break again, before it learns
And I might be stupid enough to want to fall again
'Cause I've gotten used to the crash and burn
I say, I've gotten used to the crash and burn
Crash and burn
Crash
Crash
Crash
Crash and burn
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Not-so-OK, Cupid...
I've recently joined another dating site, OKcupid.com. Someone recommended it to me, so I thought I'd take the plunge. Plenty of Fish is just too...uneventful.
I've researched paid sites, such as eharmony, and found a number of rather disturbing things in the online dating scene. Things like "ghost profiles" (fake profiles, or defunct profiles being used to give the sense that people are viewing your profile), dubious match-making (supposedly you're a match, yet you find that there's absolutely nothing in common), or shoving a ton of "matches" at you right after you unsubscribe (to lure you back). I'm fairly certain POF is using a few of the tactics I've heard about, but that's neither here nor there.
I really like the layout of OKCupid. I also like the options, and the user-generated questions and content. Apparently alot of POFers do too. I've seen about a dozen people I've recognized from POF, there. Semi-ironically, a number of them were matched to me on POF, but according to OKCupid, weren't good matches. Then again, the matching is done moreso by an ever-changing database that cross-references itself, based on how many questions you answered, how the questions were answered, and then comparing the answers to the database population.
So far, I've had about the same success as I had on POF. I send out a buhjillion messages and get about 1-2 responses that really don't go anywhere. I chatted with 1 woman, who seemed really enthusiastic, only to have her stop speaking to me. I could actually see that she was still online, and waited for an hour to see if she'd respond. It's been days, I've seen her online, and she still hasn't bothered to respond, even though we were in mid-conversation at the time.
Bleh.
Same 'ole, same 'ole.
I've researched paid sites, such as eharmony, and found a number of rather disturbing things in the online dating scene. Things like "ghost profiles" (fake profiles, or defunct profiles being used to give the sense that people are viewing your profile), dubious match-making (supposedly you're a match, yet you find that there's absolutely nothing in common), or shoving a ton of "matches" at you right after you unsubscribe (to lure you back). I'm fairly certain POF is using a few of the tactics I've heard about, but that's neither here nor there.
I really like the layout of OKCupid. I also like the options, and the user-generated questions and content. Apparently alot of POFers do too. I've seen about a dozen people I've recognized from POF, there. Semi-ironically, a number of them were matched to me on POF, but according to OKCupid, weren't good matches. Then again, the matching is done moreso by an ever-changing database that cross-references itself, based on how many questions you answered, how the questions were answered, and then comparing the answers to the database population.
So far, I've had about the same success as I had on POF. I send out a buhjillion messages and get about 1-2 responses that really don't go anywhere. I chatted with 1 woman, who seemed really enthusiastic, only to have her stop speaking to me. I could actually see that she was still online, and waited for an hour to see if she'd respond. It's been days, I've seen her online, and she still hasn't bothered to respond, even though we were in mid-conversation at the time.
Bleh.
Same 'ole, same 'ole.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
And so, Sunday comes...
"And so, Sunday comes...not much better than it was..."
Yes, that's a Moist quote.
I feel kind of blah today, which is kind of like how I felt yesterday, and the days before that. It's Spring, shouldn't I feel...effervescent or something?!
Maybe it's just exhaustion talking.
Yesterday, I fell asleep at 7PM, woke up at midnight, rolled over and went back to sleep. Or at least tried. I basically tossed and turned until about 7AM, then got up for work.
I did have a peculiar dream, though. I was deep underwater, swimming down, and realized I had gone down too deep...and was running out of air. In the dream, I panicked and tried to surface but couldn't seem to get there. I remember watching my last bubbles of air floating in front of me, and realized I was about to drown. Lungs burning, I reflexively took a breath, expecting to feel water rush into them, and then horrible suffocation.
Oddly, it felt like water, but soothed my lungs like air. I remember how weird and surprising it felt to take several experimental breaths, and not be drowning. At which point I think that's when I woke up.
How's that for a wet dream?
*chuckles*
Yes, that's a Moist quote.
I feel kind of blah today, which is kind of like how I felt yesterday, and the days before that. It's Spring, shouldn't I feel...effervescent or something?!
Maybe it's just exhaustion talking.
Yesterday, I fell asleep at 7PM, woke up at midnight, rolled over and went back to sleep. Or at least tried. I basically tossed and turned until about 7AM, then got up for work.
I did have a peculiar dream, though. I was deep underwater, swimming down, and realized I had gone down too deep...and was running out of air. In the dream, I panicked and tried to surface but couldn't seem to get there. I remember watching my last bubbles of air floating in front of me, and realized I was about to drown. Lungs burning, I reflexively took a breath, expecting to feel water rush into them, and then horrible suffocation.
Oddly, it felt like water, but soothed my lungs like air. I remember how weird and surprising it felt to take several experimental breaths, and not be drowning. At which point I think that's when I woke up.
How's that for a wet dream?
*chuckles*
Monday, March 21, 2011
Bummed
Blergh...
SO, it looks like Andromeda and I are done.
Even after trying to patch things up, I still got my daily dose of passive-aggressiveness with her finally telling me 1 day "that I wasn't putting in enough effort". There was no warning whatsoever. Just BAM!
*sigh*
It's really tiring to deal with someone who keeps making you the bad guy, and themselves the victim. I admit, I haven't been all sunshine and rainbows, lately, but I was trying.
I think that after awhile, you just get numb to the games being played. I'm not even sure she knows how bad it is, or that she even does it (though I have told her), but she kept coming at it from the stance that it was all me, and that she was doing all the work.
Apply that to everything, and that's how bad it was getting.
So, after work one day, I made arrangements to collect my stuff, I stumbled to her place, gathered up said stuff, and said good-bye.
Been feeling really bummed the last few days, in the wake of this. Mainly because after all the psychological abuse she was subjecting me to, the intense passive-aggressiveness, double-standards, and needyness...I miss her.
Even though I know that I didn't deserve alot of what came my way, right now, a part of me feels like I did...
SO, it looks like Andromeda and I are done.
Even after trying to patch things up, I still got my daily dose of passive-aggressiveness with her finally telling me 1 day "that I wasn't putting in enough effort". There was no warning whatsoever. Just BAM!
*sigh*
It's really tiring to deal with someone who keeps making you the bad guy, and themselves the victim. I admit, I haven't been all sunshine and rainbows, lately, but I was trying.
I think that after awhile, you just get numb to the games being played. I'm not even sure she knows how bad it is, or that she even does it (though I have told her), but she kept coming at it from the stance that it was all me, and that she was doing all the work.
Apply that to everything, and that's how bad it was getting.
So, after work one day, I made arrangements to collect my stuff, I stumbled to her place, gathered up said stuff, and said good-bye.
Been feeling really bummed the last few days, in the wake of this. Mainly because after all the psychological abuse she was subjecting me to, the intense passive-aggressiveness, double-standards, and needyness...I miss her.
Even though I know that I didn't deserve alot of what came my way, right now, a part of me feels like I did...
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Smellobrate!
I have a new word for today.
"Smellobrate"
It's for use when something smells so good, you want to celebrate!
And now...on with some recent events.
My hours at work have been cut...again. I'd joke about it, but when it coincides with a troublesome roomie causing more trouble, it's not really funny-time.
Basically, said roomie has decided to move out at the end of next month. I'd jump for joy (because I hate him with the burning passion of a 1000 suns) if it weren't for the fact that it hoses me, and my remaining roomies, out of around $225 a month. Money I don't really have at the moment, given the work hours being cut.
So in-short, Hulk mad. Hulk really mad. But it's better than what we thought was going to happen, where the rest of us could've been stuck in a lease, and forced to waste $2000 over the course of the next 9 months. OR suffer a breach of contract, and potentially be sued for even more.
Been taking a break from Andromeda. About this time last week, she pulled a relationship no-no, and judged me. She called me "petty". I was venting about the workplace issues, and roommate issues (as seen above)...to which she judged.
Personally, I don't think it's petty to be mad at someone who screws me over to make their situation better. I think it's justified. Apparently, Andromeda thinks otherwise. And after some intermittent fighting, I've decided to simply not deal with her for the time being.
In her absence, I've been ruminating over alot of the problems I've been having with her. Namely, the fact that she's an emotional hostage-taker. One of her texts to me during our arguing phase is textbook emotional hostage-taking.
And I quote:
"If you loved me like you say you do, you'd..."
Funny thing is, It wasn't until then that I realized that she does it often. In fact, she did it right from the get-go, dropping the L-bomb ("I love you"), very early in our relationship, which made me uncomfortable. Over time, I eventually caved and reciprocated it back to her, mainly because she got pissy when I didn't. Still, that part is partially my fault, as I did acquiesce. And now, I suspect that there's going to be some fun conversation time come Sunday, when I tell her that our relationship isn't working out for me.
Now that'll be a chucklefest...
"Smellobrate"
It's for use when something smells so good, you want to celebrate!
And now...on with some recent events.
My hours at work have been cut...again. I'd joke about it, but when it coincides with a troublesome roomie causing more trouble, it's not really funny-time.
Basically, said roomie has decided to move out at the end of next month. I'd jump for joy (because I hate him with the burning passion of a 1000 suns) if it weren't for the fact that it hoses me, and my remaining roomies, out of around $225 a month. Money I don't really have at the moment, given the work hours being cut.
So in-short, Hulk mad. Hulk really mad. But it's better than what we thought was going to happen, where the rest of us could've been stuck in a lease, and forced to waste $2000 over the course of the next 9 months. OR suffer a breach of contract, and potentially be sued for even more.
Been taking a break from Andromeda. About this time last week, she pulled a relationship no-no, and judged me. She called me "petty". I was venting about the workplace issues, and roommate issues (as seen above)...to which she judged.
Personally, I don't think it's petty to be mad at someone who screws me over to make their situation better. I think it's justified. Apparently, Andromeda thinks otherwise. And after some intermittent fighting, I've decided to simply not deal with her for the time being.
In her absence, I've been ruminating over alot of the problems I've been having with her. Namely, the fact that she's an emotional hostage-taker. One of her texts to me during our arguing phase is textbook emotional hostage-taking.
And I quote:
"If you loved me like you say you do, you'd..."
Funny thing is, It wasn't until then that I realized that she does it often. In fact, she did it right from the get-go, dropping the L-bomb ("I love you"), very early in our relationship, which made me uncomfortable. Over time, I eventually caved and reciprocated it back to her, mainly because she got pissy when I didn't. Still, that part is partially my fault, as I did acquiesce. And now, I suspect that there's going to be some fun conversation time come Sunday, when I tell her that our relationship isn't working out for me.
Now that'll be a chucklefest...
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