Yesterday, I only got about 1 hour of sleep before work. Biked to, and from, work...then collapsed into bed when I got home.
I slept for about 4 hours and had a very peculiar dream. The kind of dream that is so vivid and real, that when you wake up, you don't recognize where you are. I'll even go 1 better, I didn't immediately recognize who I was, either. I stretched out as I awoke, and felt crammed into a different container, then had a brief spaz. Funny thing is, this isn't the first time I've had dreams like this. I've had them frequently enough, that I sometimes wonder which side is the "reality" (note the quotation marks).
I don't remember the exact details of the dream, I just remember that I wasn't my waking self. I was someone else, somewhere else, doing something else. And it felt more real to me than things feel now.
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Blergh...
I sometimes get into these prolongued moods where I just don't want to talk or deal with anyone. I've never been a really social person, but neither am I the type who has it in their heart to end everyone I lay eyes on, either. But in the last 2 months I've become fairly disillusioned. It's like the phases of the moon, really. Something comes along to make me feel good, then other things come along to bring me down. That's life, I suppose.
Disillusionment checklist:
#1 - My roomies suddenly stopped speaking with me. Normally this isn't a big deal, but when they flat-out start avoiding me, or deliberatley ignoring me, I start to take it personal. After about 2 weeks of this, it was finally brought to my attention that they feel taken advantage of. Long-story-short, they take credit for a majority of the changes I've gone through in the time I've known them. And feel that they've put too much time into me, and need to put that effort in elsewhere. It's true, they have, but the problem is the time that's been put into me was unsolicited. Meaning that I didn't overtly go "hey, do this for me". And they expect me to do backflips, or prostrate myself before them. Since the big discussion about this, things have gone right back to me being ignored, with them literally pretending I don't exist. It's pissing me right off. I'm actually tempted to move, when they go on vacation in the next few days. This silent treatment is so ridiculously immature.
#2 - OKCupid is just as disappointing as Plentyoffish. I still patrol for matches that don't actually "match". And the people who I get along with, just slowly disappear. Making me have to chase them for attention. I don't like that. I don't expect to be chased all the time, but a little counter-chasing is good. It at least proves that you're interested. But as it stands, nothing ever seems to go anywhere. The only person I've met that treats me with an unusual amount of respect and consideration, is a girl moving back here from Japan, whom I haven't even met yet.
#3 - My lightsaber appears to be broken. No idea how or why, as I don't handle it all that much. But I went to turn it on a few weeks back, and there was intense feedback coming through the speaker. It'll cost me $56 to replace the speaker, the LED (which was boring me, being silvery-white), and for the labor. It's not horribly expensive, $35 is for the labor alone. I find it kind of dubious that I couldn't get the 'sabersmith to look at my 'saber until right now, conveniently past the warranty time of 90 days.
Disillusionment checklist:
#1 - My roomies suddenly stopped speaking with me. Normally this isn't a big deal, but when they flat-out start avoiding me, or deliberatley ignoring me, I start to take it personal. After about 2 weeks of this, it was finally brought to my attention that they feel taken advantage of. Long-story-short, they take credit for a majority of the changes I've gone through in the time I've known them. And feel that they've put too much time into me, and need to put that effort in elsewhere. It's true, they have, but the problem is the time that's been put into me was unsolicited. Meaning that I didn't overtly go "hey, do this for me". And they expect me to do backflips, or prostrate myself before them. Since the big discussion about this, things have gone right back to me being ignored, with them literally pretending I don't exist. It's pissing me right off. I'm actually tempted to move, when they go on vacation in the next few days. This silent treatment is so ridiculously immature.
#2 - OKCupid is just as disappointing as Plentyoffish. I still patrol for matches that don't actually "match". And the people who I get along with, just slowly disappear. Making me have to chase them for attention. I don't like that. I don't expect to be chased all the time, but a little counter-chasing is good. It at least proves that you're interested. But as it stands, nothing ever seems to go anywhere. The only person I've met that treats me with an unusual amount of respect and consideration, is a girl moving back here from Japan, whom I haven't even met yet.
#3 - My lightsaber appears to be broken. No idea how or why, as I don't handle it all that much. But I went to turn it on a few weeks back, and there was intense feedback coming through the speaker. It'll cost me $56 to replace the speaker, the LED (which was boring me, being silvery-white), and for the labor. It's not horribly expensive, $35 is for the labor alone. I find it kind of dubious that I couldn't get the 'sabersmith to look at my 'saber until right now, conveniently past the warranty time of 90 days.
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