Quoting Reznor...

I came across an old quote from Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, circa 1994.

"I don't know why I want to do these things, other than my desire to escape from Small Town, U.S.A., to dismiss the boundaries, to explore. It isn't a bad place where I grew up, but there was nothing going on but the cornfields. My life experience came from watching movies, watching TV and reading books and looking at magazines. And when your fucking culture comes from watching TV every day, you're bombarded with images of things that seem cool, places that seem interesting, people who have jobs and careers and opportunities. None of that happened where I was. You're almost taught to realize it's not for you."

I can really connect with this statement. I grew up the exact same way, isolated, with my experiences drawn from books, television, music, and movies. It makes me wonder what aspects of my life are really mine, and what's just cloned/borrowed from others.

Dragonfly...

Not moody anymore. I'm feeling kind of peculiar, though. I'v been going through my music and re-listening to older stuff. Found this little gem from a few years ago. For some reason it appeals to my sense of whimsy.
\:)

Universal Hall Pass - Dragonfly

Jump in, it's only fire.
The pilot's set to broil, my nimble cook.
It's useless, flying kites...
It only works if the wind is right.
And I've got a question for my dragonfly:
How to navigate through a perilous tide,
Without a safe or sound device...
Save only I?
Save, save only I?

So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.

Jump in, the wisdom's with the pearls.
The little shiny eyes the oysters took.
Deception, dragonfly.
The underage plan to drink the night.
It's not some wonderful feeling like something just in the way.
Call up the 30 winds 'til your Persian rug flies.
Without a sage for sound advice...
Who's there?
Save only I?
Save, save only I?

So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.

Oh, I'm willing...my dragonfly.
No need to slice the dark, it's just as good...I've found.
So jump in while the flame is bright.
And if you jump when the wind is right.
Think of this not as fire, but lights of coming dawn...
Coming dawn...
Coming dawn...

Fall up into the wind, if she offers a ride.
With no one else to turn the tide...
Save only I?
Save, save only I?

So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.

So sayeth the law of shadow.
No night is so long to stop day from following.
So long as I reach the air and finally feel my colours change.

Crash and burn...

I'm feeling moody, and for some reason this particular song resonates with me right now.


Sheryl Crow - Crash and Burn

I watched the sun come up on Portland
I waved goodbye to all my friends
I packed my car and headed to L.A.
I gave away all my loose ends

Somebody said you gotta get away
To wanna go back home again
I left my universe, standin' there
Holdin' the hand of my best friend

And it's laughter that I feel when I think of you
It's one more dusty rose about to turn
I'll see you when I reach New Mexico
If I'm in the mood to crash and burn

I wrote a letter that I never mailed
I rehearsed a dialogue in my head
In case you ever wanted to track me down
I'll take my cell phone to bed

And it's laughter that I hear when I close my eyes
And it's one more punchline I forgot to learn
I call you up when my bottle's dry
I'm on my way to crash and burn

Antigone laid across the road
And let a mack truck leave her there for dead
Just because her lover split the scene
Love might be great, but why lose your head?

Well, it's laughter that comes up when I cry for you
And my heart may break again, before it learns
And I might be stupid enough to want to fall again
'Cause I've gotten used to the crash and burn
I say, I've gotten used to the crash and burn

Crash and burn

Crash

Crash

Crash

Crash and burn​

Winter of my discontent...

I just looked outside my window.

Why is there snow??

Not-so-OK, Cupid...

I've recently joined another dating site, OKcupid.com. Someone recommended it to me, so I thought I'd take the plunge. Plenty of Fish is just too...uneventful.

I've researched paid sites, such as eharmony, and found a number of rather disturbing things in the online dating scene. Things like "ghost profiles" (fake profiles, or defunct profiles being used to give the sense that people are viewing your profile), dubious match-making (supposedly you're a match, yet you find that there's absolutely nothing in common), or shoving a ton of "matches" at you right after you unsubscribe (to lure you back). I'm fairly certain POF is using a few of the tactics I've heard about, but that's neither here nor there.

I really like the layout of OKCupid. I also like the options, and the user-generated questions and content. Apparently alot of POFers do too. I've seen about a dozen people I've recognized from POF, there. Semi-ironically, a number of them were matched to me on POF, but according to OKCupid, weren't good matches. Then again, the matching is done moreso by an ever-changing database that cross-references itself, based on how many questions you answered, how the questions were answered, and then comparing the answers to the database population.

So far, I've had about the same success as I had on POF. I send out a buhjillion messages and get about 1-2 responses that really don't go anywhere. I chatted with 1 woman, who seemed really enthusiastic, only to have her stop speaking to me. I could actually see that she was still online, and waited for an hour to see if she'd respond. It's been days, I've seen her online, and she still hasn't bothered to respond, even though we were in mid-conversation at the time.

Bleh.

Same 'ole, same 'ole.

And so, Sunday comes...

"And so, Sunday comes...not much better than it was..."

Yes, that's a Moist quote.

I feel kind of blah today, which is kind of like how I felt yesterday, and the days before that. It's Spring, shouldn't I feel...effervescent or something?!

Maybe it's just exhaustion talking.

Yesterday, I fell asleep at 7PM, woke up at midnight, rolled over and went back to sleep. Or at least tried. I basically tossed and turned until about 7AM, then got up for work.

I did have a peculiar dream, though. I was deep underwater, swimming down, and realized I had gone down too deep...and was running out of air. In the dream, I panicked and tried to surface but couldn't seem to get there. I remember watching my last bubbles of air floating in front of me, and realized I was about to drown. Lungs burning, I reflexively took a breath, expecting to feel water rush into them, and then horrible suffocation.

Oddly, it felt like water, but soothed my lungs like air. I remember how weird and surprising it felt to take several experimental breaths, and not be drowning. At which point I think that's when I woke up.

How's that for a wet dream?

*chuckles*